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Thursday, July 8, 2010

Beach-bound New Yorkers scrambled


Forget LeBron, Meet The NBA's 10 Worst Free Agents

On Monday, as millions of off-work and beach-bound New Yorkers scrambled to get as far away from the city center as they could, one very large man moved in. Hanging from the facade of Madison Square Garden, a banner announced the news: Amar’e Stoudemire is now a New York Knick.

Since then, Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh have signed with Miami and Kevin Durant renewed with Oklahoma City. But the biggest catch of them all still sits out there, with LeBron James turning the NBA into a billion-dollar game of Boggle. Albeit a game of Boggle in which the winners—loosely defined as The One Who Sign LeBron—will most likely win an NBA title in the next three years.

But in this economy, not everyone can afford LeBron. Or Dwyane Wade. Or even to pay employees overtime.

If that's the life your team is leading, the time’s come to set your sights a little lower than LBJ and kick the tires on a few guys who won’t just play for peanuts, they’ll sell them at the half. Consider the fine gentlemen below.

Adam Morrison – Forward, L.A. Lakers (4 years experience)

If it doesn’t work out for the former No. 3 pick, who had his NBA Finals game-issued (but not game-worn, as the champs kept him in street clothes) jersey auctioned off, he’s got other options. Judging by the moustache he’s cultivated, he might be staying in Tinseltown to try his hand at the other industry LA’s famous for.

Brian Scalabrine – Forward, Boston Celtics (9 years experience)

Scalabrine, who did log some quality minutes for the C’s in 2009, seems mainly to exist for the sole purpose of entertaining ESPN employees on their lunch break. Scal’s dance moves make Scott Van Pelt feel like Usher and after his whole team snubbed his high-five attempt last year, he even makes PAs feel cool. It might be tough to rip him from Boston though, where the fans love him because he looks like the mascot and reminds them of that time they hit that three in high school.

Yakhouba Diawara – Forward, Miami Heat (4 years experience)

The French-born Diawara has a battle ahead of him on the market. And the French have never done well in battles. Posting the third-lowest efficiency rating in the league last year, his 0.3 rating fell just shy of Lebron’s 32.4 average. He is, however, fluent in four languages, a few of which should come in handy in meeting his new European teammates in 2010-11.

Kwame Brown – Center, Detroit Pistons (9 years experience)

Brown burst onto the scene in 2001 as the first high school player ever selected with the No. 1 pick, when the Washington Wizards decided to pin the franchise’s hopes on a man who would go on to throw a cake at somebody, skip playoff practice to eat Chinese food and have a teammate unsuccessfully ask fans not to boo him. Already known as one of the biggest busts in draft history, "Dancing with the Stars" may be Brown's only path to respectability.


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